ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I look better un-naked...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
