so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
The power of my boobs compel you
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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