I just threw up on my dentist
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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