lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
