Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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