I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
