Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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