Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
