shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I don't deserve a penis
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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