nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
