just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I am available for nakedness
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
