biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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