sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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