I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
