I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
