The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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