I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
