the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
