So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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