Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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