Is it because I queefed?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
