yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize