The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
