Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
