I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
