It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
