Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
