Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
