Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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