Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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