fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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