sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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