Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I look better un-naked...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
