if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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