I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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