Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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