We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
