Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
