If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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