It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize