I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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