I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
