He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize