and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Still dying that you shit outside
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
