my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
