its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
