What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
