you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
