dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
