Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
