Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
