Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
