her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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