Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Congratulations! We have a period
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