It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize