YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
