He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
