That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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