I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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