so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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