my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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