I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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