so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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