How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
