Christians are straight up FREAKS
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
