so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
