Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Boobs are out for the taking
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
